I’ve attempted meditation in the past…I don’t think I was every very successful, but now I think I know why.
I tried again for the first time in a while, and it was just like the video we watched in class. Everything from my day and my surroundings raced through my head so fast. I couldn’t clear my head. It was like the more I tried to not think, the more thoughts came to my head. I was incredibly frustrating. But, nevertheless, I endured because I really wanted to work on meditation. After a little while, all the images went away, and I started to become aware of how uncomfortable I was. I would feel the need to flex my toes or move my legs or my arms or crack my neck. It was so hard to push those feelings out. Like having an itch and trying not to scratch it. I felt like I had been at it for at least a half an hour, but when I stopped I realized it hadn’t even been ten minutes.
Meditating was definitely difficult. And I definitely wouldn’t call it relaxing it. It was a struggle for me, but I am determined to keep at it. I want to reach the point where meditation is clarifying. It definitely seems like a worthwhile challenge.